Heartbroken

You know how it felt when you were in highschool and your boy/girl friend broke up with you?  At first it hurts so bad, your heart is broken and you know you'll never love again.  A little time passes.  For the most part your ok... then a memory hits you and it feels fresh and new and hurts all over again.  You miss him/her.  You want him/her back so bad.  More time passes and you know your ok.  You can live without this person.  THEN, you see him/her again.  It all comes rushing back.  Ouch. 

Ok, well I feel like running broke up with me.  Dramatic?  Maybe. 

The feelings are so much the same.  I got injured and running left me.  I keep telling myself that it's no big deal.  I can survive without running.  It's not everything.. I have much more in my life than just running miles.  I know this. 

Then, I'll remember a race, or a certain running route I like... or what it feels like to be in the middle of an awesome tempo run, sweating, heart pounding, legs screaming... loving every second of it.

I miss it.  A lot.  I know, I know... I WILL run again.  This isn't forever.  It damn sure feels that way right now though. 

Running will take me back.  It just has to.

Enough of that.  I just needed to get out some girly whining that nobody really wants to listen to.

Last week (1/4 - 1/10) I was a very dedicated little cross training chick.

I did about 4.5 hours of cardio (elliptical, arc trainer, and stationary bike)
I swam a total of 1700 Meters (1 hour and 20 min. total swimming - yes I'm slow)
I did weight training twice and Abs twice

I am keeping my cardiovascular system in shape if nothing else.

This week started alright. 

Last night I swam 1000 meters and worked out back and abs.  Good workout.

I was hopelessly optimistic that I would be able to participate in the Museum of Aviation race this year, despite my injury.  Reality has set in in stages.  First I resigned myself to the fact that I would just walk the Half marathon.  No sub 2 hour goal would be achieved.  Then I realized that the half marathon was out of the question.  I couldn't walk across the room without limping... how could I walk 13 miles?  Not going to happen.  So, I talked to the M.O.A. organizer and she said I could change my half registration to the 5K.  Cool.  I decided that I could just walk the 5K.  OK, yippy.  I'm pumped up again.  At least I could do something, right?

Wrong again.  I went to see Dr. Onderko again this morning.  She is keeping me in the boot for 2 more weeks.  Then she said I'd "ween" off of it.  She said no walking (except for the obvious moving myself from place to place).  No impact cardio.  Just elliptical, bike and swimming.  Ahhhh.  I left her office and started crying, again.  Knowing I can't do anything on Saturday.  The first race I'd planned to run of the year.

I guess I'm ok now.  I know I have pleny of time once I heal to do all the things I'd love to do with my running goals.  I know I have years and years to run the Museum of Aviation races.  That doesn't keep it from hurting my feelings right now.